Meet Val (me)

I love words. Writing them. Reading them. Making them sing. Mashing them together to make new ones. In fact, my favorite things in life are my family, my books, and a blank Word doc — not necessarily in that order.

I’ve been a writer ever since my BFF and I developed a screenplay for The Goonies II on a manual typewriter when we were in the 8th grade. We would, of course, play the roles of the Goonie girlfriends, and we’d fight the Fratellis together. (Rest in Peace, Anne Ramsey.)

Fast forward *cough, cough* years, and I was able to ditch the cubicle and start a path for myself. My only regret is leaving my last office space without going all Office Space on the printer.

I’ve been with my husband for 20 years. This is our brood: Jack and Katie (humans), Roxy (dog), Callie (cat), and an as-yet-unadopted puppy we promised our daughter in a moment of weakness.

And, since writing too much about myself makes me itchy, I’ll let my favorite movie quotes do the rest of the talking.

Favorite Quotes

“What do you need a fake ID for?”
“So I can vote!”

— Andrew and Brian, The Breakfast Club

“Hallelujah, holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”

— Clark Griswold, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

“It’s good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”

— Tony Stark to Bruce Banner, Avengers

“I’m inevitable.” “I’m Iron Man.”

— Thanos and Tony Stark, Avengers Endgame

“You went to law school at Costco?”

— Joe, Idiocracy

“Insensitive jerks! Do you have any idea how much that stings?”

— Jeebs, also Men in Black

“Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.”

— Agent K, Men in Black

“Okay okay, Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house. To use the bathroom. But his sister did!”

— Chunk, The Goonies

“You’re not dying. You just can’t think of anything better to do.”

— Ferris to Cameron, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off